How are you guys? I hope you're having a great week!
I'm coming up for air. Changing routines is both tremendous and uncomfortable. To be honest, this last week or so has been weird. I have no idea what day it is, but I hear it's Wednesday? Thank heavens for my trusty planner...helping me keep it all straight. It's been go-go-go. I have a 6AM flight tomorrow and I'm slightly concerned I'm going to forget (you'd be amused at how much I'm losing my mind lately) and will likely be setting seven different alarms. Patrick's current weekend days are Tuesdays and Saturdays and the other days he works from noon to 9PM. (Do you understand why I'm confused?) And there are certain things I can get done when he's around (and for which I need his help) and there are certain things I must save for when he's gone and I have the apartment (my new office!) to myself. I have a feeling it'll be November before we really find our stride in a new routine, but we'll get there!
I've been tackling a few small commissions, freelance projects, and figuring out / registering the legal structure of my business. It's also been a great opportunity to speak to different mentors and ask the bajillion questions I have. The biggest perk of not having to drag my butt to midtown early in the morning? It's dragging it to a barre class instead. Having the option of choosing when I want to break for the day and fit in my exercise is really nice especially since those endorphins are the thing keeping me sane right now...I'm looking at you, wedding planning. I'm not going to lie - it's incredibly overwhelming. There are thousands of emails in my "wedding" folder in the black hole of my Gmail and I know I'm likely going to drop the ball on some (probably large) piece of the puzzle. Hats off to you real wedding planners out there! Of course I'm the stubborn bride, insisting on personalizing so many of the details myself (I mean it's me we're talking about), but I'm trying to truly let go of my perfectionist tendencies. The other day I had this frightening vision of the Fed-Ex truck delivering my dress to Virginia breaking down and catching fire (because, you know, that's a logical fear) and I literally laughed out loud at myself while walking down the sidewalk because of how absurd I was thinking. I told you I was losing my mind.
And as frustrated as I get with the groom sometimes (planning a wedding together must be the ultimate test of, "Can you survive this without shoving the other out the window?" I kid, I kid.), he always helps me regain perspective. Last night after a little date with friends down in the village, I asked Patrick, "Is it weird to you that I'm going to be your wife?" Without skipping a beat, he replied, "You already are." It hit me... a wedding, in comparison to a marriage, is merely a technicality. A party. (A really, really fun party.) The promises and unspoken vows between us happened a long time ago. And while I get weak in the knees imagining us saying those vows out loud in front of our loved ones, it's a great reminder that we already mean them. Nothing can shake that. Not even a charred dress ;)